Tuesday, December 10, 2013

Lived Visions

Does anyone else get these lived visions? This is the first one I remember, when, in real life, I was considering buying this hotel and renovating it as a hotel for writers. I was standing outside it and I felt the present moment fall away, replaced by another moment, another future, architecture forming around me to take me away from that day, month and year, to another, an undetermined lifetime away.

"There was an edgy feeling to the streets here, cafés and nightclubs and night-time noise. The wide cobbled front of the hotel seemed vulnerable. I wouldn’t be completely comfortable behind these windows in the early hours of the morning. I put my foot on the low steps and ascended.

"I turned, for a moment feeling the proximity of the street, but then the traffic sounds receded, becoming a reverberating echo, like I remembered from the glassed in courtyards of the Louvre. What if this were an atrium, visually open to the street but enclosed? The verandas would stay pristine, original, but instead of looking into the street they would look in to a double height glass room. It would be fabulous! I could see it: a café at one end, reception in the middle, comfortable chairs beyond. 

"My mind circled back to my drawing. What had I written? I took the book out of my bag. The Old Occidental Writers’ Hotel. Wow! That was it. And then I could see it, shelves and shelves and shelves of books, the perfect mood and décor. The skin on my arms prickled and goose bumps raised, my pulse beat low in my belly." 
 - excerpt from The Old Occidental Writers' Hotel, pp 39-40

That experience was so compelling I wrote it into a book, based a story around it, grew it from that moment. This one didn't happen in my linear-time reality. I wrote the book, lived the thought experiment in words on paper, and found that creative outlet sufficient - and then an earthquake took the hotel, anyway, so that future, even if realised, would have been short-lived.

I'm a little more used to them now, those moments of current reality receding, showing me something - I'm never clear what - a direction, an idea, a possibility. I come out of them dazed, somehow refreshed, always in a thoughtful frame of mind. They show me something important, I think, something that I haven't quite acknowledged yet with my conscious mind. In the past they've caused confusion, because they'd get mixed up with reality, and I'd fight to have the two fall into line. Now I'm beginning to wonder what they are, how I should use them, and possibly, what else it might be useful to know.

They are fed like intuition, from somewhere deep. I sense they are guides, a vivid shorthand of what I should look for, what I should aim for, in my search for destiny, my destined future. So what now? What is the next step? How do I follow into something that seems a quantum leap away?

As I ask these questions, I feel the answer brewing... "Just close your eyes, and take that leap, of faith..."

Jennifer Manson is the author of six inspiring novels and one non-fiction title Easy - Stories from an effortlessly created life, available from Amazon and all major book and e-book websites.

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