Anger, Anxiety and Reaching Your Goals

If you would like to read more of Jennifer's writing see www.jennifermanson.co.nz.

We have been taught to deny anger and repress anxiety, but is this the best way?

Anger: evolving from blindness to awareness to conscious utilisation

In the course of the last year, but more consciously in the last month, I have been observing anger - in myself and in others. The first thing I noticed is how much we resist anger. We are scared of it, we have been taught that we shouldn’t be angry and we deny it. We are so unhappy in the presence of anger that we close our eyes, in the process making ourselves blind to everything else as well.

The beauty of anger

I like anger. It is powerful. Repressed and explosive it can be dangerous but in its pure form anger is an exhilarating and exciting emotion, more directed than happiness and more propelling than grief. The most useful thing is that it identifies obstacles to what we want.

It is important to keep our senses and mind functioning through anger, to stay conscious rather than switching off, so we can learn from it.

Training ourselves to harness anger

This takes practice. My process was first to practice staying conscious in the presence of other people’s anger; to call it what it is, translating those insidiously misleading words “frustration” and “annoyance.”

I would give them space to express their anger, to process rather than resisting it. People were grateful: it’s a rare thing to be at peace in the presence of anger, and they appreciated the acceptance and understanding.

Next I started to acknowledge anger in myself. Deliberately let loose and still not fully under control it would sometime rise powerfully. In those situations I removed myself from the company of those who would be scared by it. I have some wonderful friends who allowed me to express my anger and helped me explore the nature of it. Or I took myself off alone, into the countryside, to my room, felt my heart beat steady and hard.

Consciously observing

Once I was practiced at staying fully conscious and observant, I began to see detail, and then it came to me: we get angry when something gets in the way of what we want. A little more observation and enquiry in the specific situation and it is easy to identify what is happening, easy to identify a course of action. With the energy from the anger we can easily blast or brush aside the obstacle and propel ourselves on the path to our goals.

Anxiety: modifying forethought, setting deliberate goals

Next, anxiety and worry. In “Stealing Fire From the Gods” James Bonnet cites the story of Prometheus, who stole fire from the gods and gave it to human beings. Prometheus means “forethought” and it is this gift that enables us to set goals and make plans. Bonnet points out that an unpleasant side-effect of forethought is worry. (Prometheus’s story represents this in his punishment, an eagle gnawing on his liver day after day, Groundhog Day a nasty twist.)

Worry, however, is also useful. It tells us when we are foreseeing something which displeases us. Once again, staying conscious is the key: asking ourselves what we are imagining that causes the worry.

Foreseeing our goals engages our subconscious to take us towards them. If we replace the image that is troubling us with one which pleases us, anxiety reduces and again we are propelled on our path towards our goals.

Step-by-step Summary

· Work at becoming comfortable with anger, in yourself and others
· Practise staying conscious in the presence of anger
· Observe your own anger to identify what you are angry about and what it is stopping you getting
· Use the power of the anger to brush or blast aside the obstacle and move towards your goal

· Become aware of anxiety
· Observe what you are worried will happen
· Replace this future image with one that is in line with your goals
· Take action towards that positive future image

If you would like to read more of Jennifer's writing see www.jennifermanson.co.nz.

At Home book by David Killick (contribution by Jennifer Manson)

This week I am proud to have been one of the contributing writers to "The Press At Home - a guide to creating your perfect home" by David Killick.

The book was released earlier in the week and is perfect Christmas content: beautiful pictures and down to earth advice - ideal for the bach coffee table and relaxed summer holiday reading!

David is a wonderful writer with a great heart, a jewel in the Christchurch community.

Home Style has copies of the book available at $29.95 plus $3 postage and handling. Order by clicking here




or email me at jennifer@homestyle.co.nz.

Enjoy your weekend,

Jennifer.

France and New York

This week is back to normal at Home Style after two months of variety for me - although business has been ably managed by Terri, Ged and Vicki in my absence.

First was a magical holiday in France, a 20th wedding anniversary trip providing space to think on a larger scale. Chateaux and scenery with Eddie Izzard on TomTom allowing me to put the map down and enjoy the ride.

Next came the rapid run-up to the Canterbury Home Show - Ged and I were on the stand from Friday morning to Sunday night talking to hundreds of people and selling the newly released audio CD "How to Prepare a House For Sale." The audio takes you through your home step by step to add $1,000s to the price of your home - show special price of $45 (including Postage and Handling) still applies. You can buy now by credit card through PayPal

https://www.paypal.com/cgi-bin/webscr?cmd=_s-xclick&hosted_button_id=896987

or email me at info@homestyle.co.nz to arrange payment.

Two days after the Home Show I left for New York to attend Robert McKee's Story course, predominantly for screen writers but the elements and principles of story apply equally to novels. The course was fabulous and New York spectacular, golden leaves and sunshine.

And now back to the office. Time to create the vision for the next 12 months and beyond!

Travel, Novel and more

Since the last post, long ago, my experience of life has been like being in a washing machine - I will come out new and sparkling but there's a lot of turning upside down and inside out in the process.

In July I attended Roger Hamilton's Wealth Dynamics Experience - a great way to work out how to best leverage your strengths, provide maximum value and make use of wonderful complementary networks to achieve your goals.

The next week I took my 12 year old daughter, Alex, to the Australian outback, a wonderful 8 day experience involving camels and trans-continental trains which had me well outside my comfort zone the whole time.

My time since being back has been focused on marketing old and new parts of my business. My newly branded websites are launched: http://www.homestyle.co.nz/ and http://www.businessstyle.co.nz/ now coordinating with my personal site http://www.jennifermanson.co.nz/. Thanks to Phillippa and the team at Mega Advertising http://www.megaadvertising.co.nz/.

I have signed an online distribution contract for my audio program "How to Prepare a House For Sale" - if you are thinking of selling this is great for giving you the buyer's perspective and easy steps to property presentation that sells - you can find it on the Home Style site.

I've made many contacts with Real Estate agents and companies about my Home Staging and Property Presentation services, and launched a Real Estate Agent training program, teaching agents to do what I do as an additional service to their clients. Many agents already do this well, but more information and a chance to focus on it is always beneficial.

The other big news is the novel. The working title is "Law of Attraction" and it follows the life of a woman who breaks out of her expected role and creates a successful business of her own. As a reader I am always looking for positive fiction, so that is what I aim to provide as a writer. I also look for role models in the real world.

"Law of Attraction" aims at uplifting and inspiring and providing a role model for women creating their own designed life. Email me at jennifer@jennifermanson.co.nz if you would like a preview of the opening chapters.

After initial feedback from the publisher and novel coach I have just finished a completely rewritten second draft. It goes out for feedback and market testing this week. I am terrified. From a creative perspective it is easy to read any feedback as criticism and take it to heart. I have great support, however, and this is getting near the last step before publication. If I screw up my eyes tight and use my imagination, I can see this phase as an opportunity for growth.

Time to be really, really brave.

Cheers,

Jennifer.

Everyone needs a space of their own

One of the first things I ask a client when doing a Home and Lifestyle consultation is"Does everyone who lives here have a place they can go if they want to be alone?"

When people choose to be together, they usually get on pretty well; if they are together when they would prefer not to be we sometimes get disharmony.

Sometimes we find someone goes out to the pub, or to tinker in the garage, because there is nowhere in the house they can be alone.

The first thing is to recognise that it is fine for people to want time alone. Half an hour can make a big difference to someone who wants time to chill, get their thoughts and emotions together.

So where do we find the space?

For children it will often be their bedroom. If they share a room with a sibling, create a system to split the time - perhaps a timetable or a sign on the door with a timer. A chair in the corner of the bedroom may work well for you as well. Take some time to tidy and make the space look welcoming. Put some magazines or books nearby. And create a view from your chair - hang a mirror so it reflects something attractive or a picture to look at.

If all else fails, the car may be the answer. On a two week holiday I have been known to leave the family in the hotel room and drive around the corner to read for an hour.

The key to acceptance of this behaviour is to come back sunny and bright so everyone sees the upside.

Have a great day!

Jennifer.

Home and Lifestyle consultations can be arranged worldwide or by telephone using digital photographs. Contact Jennifer at www.homestyle.co.nz

Inspired and Inspiring - Dr Irena Yashin-Shaw

Wow! I attending an inspired and inspiring event at the Christchurch Chapter of National Speakers Association New Zealand this Tuesday: Dr Irena Yashin-Shaw www.speakingedge.com.au gave us a simple, usable approach to connecting and synergising all the ideas, information and experience we have across the diverse areas of our lives.

Irena is a voice, speech and communication specialist and spoke with specific reference to developing our speaking repetoire, but the principles could be applied to creativity in any area we want to take a leap forward.

For anyone who wishes to persuade with the voice, take a look at Irena's website www.speakingedge.com.au - thank you for your generosity, Irena!

Have a great day!

Jennifer.

Positive Energy in Creating Your Home

In line with the Law of Attraction, I use the following process for transforming a room in my home, whether from chaos to gorgeous, or just creating a new mood.

1. Get a clear vision of how I want it too look
2. Step into that vision in my mind and feel great in it
3. (This may mean letting go of resentment if someone else contributed to the mess)
4. Once I feel great, I just let it happen - let my subconscious take over. I find myself moving things around in a state of flow, and before I know it, it's done.

If I don't get into that feeling-great state, I don't tidy up!

Try it!

Cheers,

Jennifer.

For Jennifer's audio products including "How to Prepare a House For Sale" and Home Style services see http://www.homestyle.co.nz/

How to Make a Room Seem Bigger

Hi,

Here's a simple tip for enjoying your home more.

Our sense of space is not dictated so much by the actual size of the room, but by how far we can see. This means we can make a room seem larger by extending the views.

There are a few simple ways we can do this:

• Open curtains and blinds so you can see out better
• Cut back foliage outside windows
• Place a visual focal point at the end of the view outside to draw the eye out
• Open doors to other rooms and place visual focal points at the end of those view
• Hang pictures with perspective, such as landscapes or interiors of buildings
• Use mirrors to bring long views back to the doorway to the room, or anywhere you sit

The other important thing is to have a clear walking path through the room - even a large room feels cramped if you can't move around it easily.

Imagine standing looking at a blank wall. Now replace the wall in your mind with a view out over a harbour or mountains. Feel the space expand?

Have a great day!

Jennifer.

For Jennifer's audio products and Home Style services see http://www.homestyle.co.nz/

How to Prepare a House For Sale

Big news! I am taking a new direction with my business and life. (Work IS life, right?)

Previously primarily a Home Staging and Furniture Rental business - lots of fun, but very much a local market - I am now moving to being a global "weightless" business (if you don't count me.) That means selling the furniture and accessories - ideally to someone who would love to have a similar successful little Christchurch-based business, contact me if you live in Christchurch and you're interested - and focusing on my passions, which are consultations, professional speaking, newspaper and magazine articles and audio products.

My new MP3 audio "How to Prepare a House For Sale" is available from the Home Style website www.homestyle.co.nz. There's a free sample track "Instant Improvements" to try, or for those needing to prepare for sale quickly.

It took a long time to build up the courage to produce the audio - every time the recording studio sent a new version it would sit for a month before I could bring myself to listen to it.

But I'm past that now, in fact, I am now producing audio Interviews with Experts myself. More on that later.

Cheers,

Jennifer.