Anger, Anxiety and Reaching Your Goals

If you would like to read more of Jennifer's writing see www.jennifermanson.co.nz.

We have been taught to deny anger and repress anxiety, but is this the best way?

Anger: evolving from blindness to awareness to conscious utilisation

In the course of the last year, but more consciously in the last month, I have been observing anger - in myself and in others. The first thing I noticed is how much we resist anger. We are scared of it, we have been taught that we shouldn’t be angry and we deny it. We are so unhappy in the presence of anger that we close our eyes, in the process making ourselves blind to everything else as well.

The beauty of anger

I like anger. It is powerful. Repressed and explosive it can be dangerous but in its pure form anger is an exhilarating and exciting emotion, more directed than happiness and more propelling than grief. The most useful thing is that it identifies obstacles to what we want.

It is important to keep our senses and mind functioning through anger, to stay conscious rather than switching off, so we can learn from it.

Training ourselves to harness anger

This takes practice. My process was first to practice staying conscious in the presence of other people’s anger; to call it what it is, translating those insidiously misleading words “frustration” and “annoyance.”

I would give them space to express their anger, to process rather than resisting it. People were grateful: it’s a rare thing to be at peace in the presence of anger, and they appreciated the acceptance and understanding.

Next I started to acknowledge anger in myself. Deliberately let loose and still not fully under control it would sometime rise powerfully. In those situations I removed myself from the company of those who would be scared by it. I have some wonderful friends who allowed me to express my anger and helped me explore the nature of it. Or I took myself off alone, into the countryside, to my room, felt my heart beat steady and hard.

Consciously observing

Once I was practiced at staying fully conscious and observant, I began to see detail, and then it came to me: we get angry when something gets in the way of what we want. A little more observation and enquiry in the specific situation and it is easy to identify what is happening, easy to identify a course of action. With the energy from the anger we can easily blast or brush aside the obstacle and propel ourselves on the path to our goals.

Anxiety: modifying forethought, setting deliberate goals

Next, anxiety and worry. In “Stealing Fire From the Gods” James Bonnet cites the story of Prometheus, who stole fire from the gods and gave it to human beings. Prometheus means “forethought” and it is this gift that enables us to set goals and make plans. Bonnet points out that an unpleasant side-effect of forethought is worry. (Prometheus’s story represents this in his punishment, an eagle gnawing on his liver day after day, Groundhog Day a nasty twist.)

Worry, however, is also useful. It tells us when we are foreseeing something which displeases us. Once again, staying conscious is the key: asking ourselves what we are imagining that causes the worry.

Foreseeing our goals engages our subconscious to take us towards them. If we replace the image that is troubling us with one which pleases us, anxiety reduces and again we are propelled on our path towards our goals.

Step-by-step Summary

· Work at becoming comfortable with anger, in yourself and others
· Practise staying conscious in the presence of anger
· Observe your own anger to identify what you are angry about and what it is stopping you getting
· Use the power of the anger to brush or blast aside the obstacle and move towards your goal

· Become aware of anxiety
· Observe what you are worried will happen
· Replace this future image with one that is in line with your goals
· Take action towards that positive future image

If you would like to read more of Jennifer's writing see www.jennifermanson.co.nz.

Travel, Novel and more

Since the last post, long ago, my experience of life has been like being in a washing machine - I will come out new and sparkling but there's a lot of turning upside down and inside out in the process.

In July I attended Roger Hamilton's Wealth Dynamics Experience - a great way to work out how to best leverage your strengths, provide maximum value and make use of wonderful complementary networks to achieve your goals.

The next week I took my 12 year old daughter, Alex, to the Australian outback, a wonderful 8 day experience involving camels and trans-continental trains which had me well outside my comfort zone the whole time.

My time since being back has been focused on marketing old and new parts of my business. My newly branded websites are launched: http://www.homestyle.co.nz/ and http://www.businessstyle.co.nz/ now coordinating with my personal site http://www.jennifermanson.co.nz/. Thanks to Phillippa and the team at Mega Advertising http://www.megaadvertising.co.nz/.

I have signed an online distribution contract for my audio program "How to Prepare a House For Sale" - if you are thinking of selling this is great for giving you the buyer's perspective and easy steps to property presentation that sells - you can find it on the Home Style site.

I've made many contacts with Real Estate agents and companies about my Home Staging and Property Presentation services, and launched a Real Estate Agent training program, teaching agents to do what I do as an additional service to their clients. Many agents already do this well, but more information and a chance to focus on it is always beneficial.

The other big news is the novel. The working title is "Law of Attraction" and it follows the life of a woman who breaks out of her expected role and creates a successful business of her own. As a reader I am always looking for positive fiction, so that is what I aim to provide as a writer. I also look for role models in the real world.

"Law of Attraction" aims at uplifting and inspiring and providing a role model for women creating their own designed life. Email me at jennifer@jennifermanson.co.nz if you would like a preview of the opening chapters.

After initial feedback from the publisher and novel coach I have just finished a completely rewritten second draft. It goes out for feedback and market testing this week. I am terrified. From a creative perspective it is easy to read any feedback as criticism and take it to heart. I have great support, however, and this is getting near the last step before publication. If I screw up my eyes tight and use my imagination, I can see this phase as an opportunity for growth.

Time to be really, really brave.

Cheers,

Jennifer.

Positive Energy in Creating Your Home

In line with the Law of Attraction, I use the following process for transforming a room in my home, whether from chaos to gorgeous, or just creating a new mood.

1. Get a clear vision of how I want it too look
2. Step into that vision in my mind and feel great in it
3. (This may mean letting go of resentment if someone else contributed to the mess)
4. Once I feel great, I just let it happen - let my subconscious take over. I find myself moving things around in a state of flow, and before I know it, it's done.

If I don't get into that feeling-great state, I don't tidy up!

Try it!

Cheers,

Jennifer.

For Jennifer's audio products including "How to Prepare a House For Sale" and Home Style services see http://www.homestyle.co.nz/